Top Ten Tips For A Happy, Healthy, More Fulfilled Life Through The Way That You Think

Tip 1  
Let go of your personal history. Accept it, understand it (Get help with this if you need to) and then move on. Losing the blame mentality is a really tough one for many people but the truth is that however the past affected you, you own it - No one can upset you, no one can 'make' you angry or anything else unless you allow it to. Losing the blame is incredibly self empowering because then you can begin to take control of the only thing you have - and that is the way you 'allow' yourself to react to somebody else's actions or situation.

Tip 2
Remove pressuring dictating words from your language. Words such as 'You should do this', 'You must do that', Nobody likes to be dictated to and often we are speaking from our view of the world according to our values. Learn to release your control a little on how you need things to be in your life, needing is just that - needy. Tell yourself that you can want things a certain way but you don't 'need' them to be that way in order for you to be happy.

Tip 3
Drop your negative labels
'I'm so useless', 'I never get anything right' 'I am a worrier because my parents were worriers' etc. A famous quotation by Ralph Waldo Emerson states: 'You become what you think about all day long.' Once you label yourself, you begin to act as if it were true. Think about those childhood beliefs suggested by others that you may still hold on to today.

Tip 4 
Become aware of when you are thinking Automatic Negative Thoughts - (ANTS)
perhaps you are fortune telling - Predicting how you think things will turn out with no actual evidence of that, or Mind Reading - Such as ' He's probably thinking I'm stupid'.

Tip 5
Stop confusing thought with fact. This is what happens when you think something and act as if it were true.
Just because you believe something to be true does not necessarily mean that it is, It is simply your perception of the facts based on past experiences and unhelpful distorted irrational thinking. Worrying about anything that might happen in the future based on past or any other negative experiences does not in it self change anything.

Tip 6 
Believe in yourself, If you do not believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to or for yourself to achieve what it is that you want to achieve. No one can experience life exactly the way you do. By believing in your own judgement, gaining a sense of independence and knowing that you can handle anything, good or bad will help you to continue to grow. Turn obstacles into challenges and continue to surprise yourself. Become your own best friend and encourage yourself.  Ask yourself Do I 'believe' I can do this, Do I 'believe' it will work out? As Henry Ford said "Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't you're probably right"

Tip 7
Do not allow yourself to go through life living out unfulfilled dreams over and over. If you want to give up your job and train as something else ask yourself what is it that is REALLY stopping you and start there. Often it is based around FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of rejection etc. Turn 'What If' into a 'So What' mentality.

Tip 8
Visualize yourself as living the life you want to lead and then get to work on making it happen by only focusing on positive steps and blocking out any negative, unhelpful thoughts. Try visualizing stepping into the shoes of someone already living that way to get a sense of how it feels. Be prepared to let go of some of your perfectionism for things to go 100% the way you want them to.

Tip 9
Become more mindfully aware of being in the moment - Notice how when you are driving a car you are not experiencing the moment - You may be allowing your thoughts to worry or be distracted by past or future events. Loosen your grip on the steering wheel bring your thoughts back to the present moment and practice living your life that way whether you are at work, at home or wherever you are. In this way it becomes much easier to let things go and not hold onto resentment. As Wayne Dyer quotes 'It's not the snake bite that kills you, but the venom that flows around your body'.

Tip 10
Laugh at life, it is simply an experience rather like a character you are playing, and you get to choose whether you want to play the vulnerable victim, the nasty one the kind one, the easy going one etc at any given time. Know that you are not stuck in a certain way just because you've always been that way.  

When is 'Now' going to be a good time to change the way that you think for the better?
Today? Next week? Or only in your dreams of your ideal life?

A Cognitive Behavioral Life Coach can support you with all of this. If you feel you could benefit from having someone on your side supporting you through this process, then research the Life Coaches listed.

Begin living the life you've always dreamed about and become the person that you've always wanted to be.

5 Tips Happy Married Life!!! 

Point 1: Be independent. 

Just because you marry, it doesn't mean you must embrace everything about your partner. Sometimes, you forget about how different you two are because you've been together for so long. Don't lose your uniqueness because it's the same thing that attracted both you and your partner in the first place. Try to take on different interests and encourage your partner to do so too.

Point 2: Never be angry at the same time.

When you're angry, you hear nothing else and you don't care about anything else. If you find that both you and your partner are angry, try to have some space. Calm down. Then talk. Be sensitive to each other's ups and downs. Talk through the problem and hear each other out. Abandon the whole world rather than each other. And never go to sleep without settling the argument. Most importantly, never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

Point 3: If you have to disagree, do it lovingly.

There will be lots of times when you and your spouse won't agree at all in some aspects. Don't make your point sound like a criticism to your partner. It doesn't matter who is wrong or right. Always bear in mind that an argument doesn't need a winner or a loser.  

Point 4: Never bring up mistakes of the past.

Whenever something goes wrong, do not rub past issues in. Don't dwell over the past such that you become blind with the wonderful things ahead of your relationship.

Point 5: At least once every day, try to say one thoughtful or complimentary thing to your partner.

When a couple always spends time with each other, they often forget about courtesy. "Take the trash out. Do the laundry." Isn't there something missing in those phrases? Perhaps putting "Please" before each sentence would make it sound so much better. Never take each other for granted.
Showing constantly that you both like each other will help keep your relationship fresh. Even something as simple as complementing on your spouse's looks or buying little unexpected gifts can help. Look for the things that would make your partner feel appreciated.

How do you live by the guidelines stated earlier? Lower your pride. But don't get me wrong. Pride is a good thing. It keeps your head high in public. It's not a bad thing to have pride in someone or something. But in private, when you're with your partner, keep the pride level down; because it becomes a wall your partner would have to overcome.